Ruby Sky Coaching “My worries are nothing compared to what’s going on in Ukraine – I really shouldn’t complain.” Ruby Sky Coaching

How many times have you hear that recently?  A friend said this to me yesterday and it made me feel quite sad that they didn’t feel their sadness warranted any airtime.  They didn't want to talk about what they felt was a mundane worry when others were losing their homes and lives in a war that was not of their making.

 

It does feel wrong complaining about our situation or something that is making us profoundly unhappy in our lives when there is the most terrible war going on in Ukraine, (and let’s not forget wars that continue in other parts of the world).  We are constantly listening to and watching reports of the atrocities, injury and death and feeling slightly helpless.  We want to empathise with the people going through this terrible ordeal but until you are actually in it, it is very hard to really imagine how you are going to feel, behave and act.

 

I heard this saying some time ago “There is no competition for who has had the worst life experiences” and that is so true.

 

Everyone can feel pain and this pain is real, whether it is as shocking as being caught in the middle of a war or whether it is about a bereavement, a relationship that has broken down, a job that has gone wrong, bad health, loneliness… the list goes on.

 

Just because other people have it worse than you, it doesn’t mean that your worries are not worthy of some discussion, thought and time.

 

We are all different and we all react to situations differently.  Of course, it is quite true that it could always be worse and so often, people will try and “one-up” you on a bad experience.  You tell them that you had a bad day because you had food poisoning and they respond with “at least you didn’t end up in hospital like I did the other week…” or something to that effect.  The conversation is then about them and not you!

 

All you want is a bit of validation of your feelings, not a comparison with someone else's experience.

 

Always take the time to consider your own life, explore your thoughts and feelings and the best way to do this it to TALK.  Tell someone who is really going to listen how you feel and try and work out how to move forward.

 

A life coach can help but also you may have a close friend or even colleague who you trust to actually listen to you.  Seek them out and talk to them honestly.

 

Try it, it can really help.

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Life Coaching
talking
validation
comparison