Ruby Sky Coaching Is coaching for me and what is it all about? Ruby Sky Coaching


Chances are that you will have heard the term ‘Life Coach’ banded around, and, although you know what it ‘probably’ means, you may not know what Life Coaching is all about.  


When I tell people that I am a Life Coach, apart from a few people who have done the eye roll and said something to the effect of “oh, you're one of those – everyone is doing that these days…”, most people go on to ask what it is.


“Is it like therapy?” is normally the first question.  


And no, although coaching is clearly allied to therapy as both disciplines use talk sessions, the main difference is that therapy is a long-term process that looks backwards into the client’s past to diagnose and resolve past issues and traumas.  


So, what is life coaching?


Life Coaching is a short-term process with fairly quick results, looking forwards.  The coach takes the client’s current position as the starting point, sets a goal to work towards and sets in place an action plan to achieve that goal.  A coach doesn’t provide any form of diagnosis. 


Therapy looks backwards in order to go forwards and coaching only looks forwards - it is a dynamic process and is all about actions and results.


Anyone can benefit from life coaching if they would like to explore how to move forwards in their career, family life, relationships or if they are just in a transitional period of their life and need some help making decisions on what to do next.


So, what makes a good Life Coach?


It’s all about active listening.  This may seem like an easy skill that we all already have and something we do every day when having a conversation.


But think of this.  


How many times, have you had a conversation with a friend and have started telling them about something that happened to you and, before you have even managed to get to the point, they come back with “that’s funny, I know what you mean, the exact same thing happened to me, blah, blah…” Suddenly, it’s no longer about your experience but all about them?  That friend was not listening actively to you, they only heard the first sentence and then were working out how they could respond with something relevant to them. People think that this is helpful as they are empathising with you, but it has completely the opposite effect of making you feel that your story or experience is not worth hearing.


As someone with a ‘quiet’ voice and, as quite a shy, reserved child, I used to suffer from this scenario regularly.  I’d start talking about myself, but the louder more confident voice would talk over me, and I would just stop talking.  Coaching helped me realise that my words also have value, to volunteer information about myself in a conversation and to not always give way to the louder voice.


So, how does it work and who is coaching for?


In a coaching session, the client does practically all the talking. The skill of the coach is to ask the right questions at the right time and give you space to give your fullest answer.  Silence should be seen as an opportunity for thought and a good coach will give you all the silence you need.


As a client, It’s all about you.


You get a full hour where you can talk about yourself, express your innermost feelings in a safe confidential space, explore your thoughts and make decisions about how you want to move forward.  You set the agenda and you are accountable for any plans that you make.


People around us are always so quick to offer solutions and advice.  We live in a solutions-based culture, and everyone feels the need to tell you what to do. 


How often do you get to say “actually, what I want to do is this…!”  You may not even know what it is that you want to do, but with powerful questioning from your coach, you will find the answer that is buried deep in your brain.  It’s been there all along, but you haven’t had the opportunity to articulate it.  


We lie to others and to ourselves constantly.


“How are you doing?”


“I’m fine.”  (I actually feel low quite a lot. I go to bed on a Sunday night with the feeling of dread for the week ahead, I feel I should have achieved so much more by now but…)


“I love my job” (I have a job, it gives me somewhere to be every day, it gives me a sense of purpose even though I hate it, it pays the bills, how would I get another job?...)


“I’m happily married or in a great relationship” (I'm married. I have a partner. We've been together for a long time and it’s fine but not exciting, I’m bored…)


If any of the above has resonated with you and you would love to explore how to move forward, be it in your career, your relationships, your life in general, then coaching is for you.


So, what can I do?


The best way to find out if you could benefit from working with a life coach is to have an initial chat. I offer a free 30-minute chemistry call where I can explain how it all works and we can find out a little bit about each other to see whether we can work together.


If you are interested, contact me on This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to book a chemistry call.





Life Coaching