Ruby Sky Coaching “I can’t do that!”  How can I build inner confidence? Ruby Sky Coaching

How many times have you said "I can't do that" or heard someone else say it. 

 

Personally, I say it all the time as I really do believe that I am just not capable of doing many new activities well, especially when it comes to anything sporty.  As a child I hated PE and any kind of exercise we had to take part in at school.  I'm sure, as a chubby adolescent, having to wear those terrible PE shorts instead of skirts had something to do with it!  But I was also genuinely bad at sports when I was younger, mainly because I didn’t enjoy them. 

 

It wasn't until I met my husband that I was forced to actually try out various activities - our first date was water-skiing in The Docklands.  As I much as I tried to get out of it, he made me put on a wetsuit and step gingerly into the disgusting waters of the Thames!  The fear of falling into it made me get straight up on two skis and stay up until the ordeal ended! But we did continue (we are still together after 33 years!) and both became proficient mono-skiers travelling to the Cotswolds every weekend to ski. 

 

So, I could do it - I just needed the push. 

 

This photo is of me a few months ago practicing aerial yoga with my friend Suzanne under the patient instruction of our wonderful teacher Rachel.  With a combined age of 119, neither of us are young any longer but we absolutely love our weekly hour spent climbing on these silks, going upside down, hanging by our feet and LAUGHING!  It is the best tonic ever and the best part of it is, you cannot think about anything else at all while you are on these hammocks as concentration is key to avoid falling - it is the best switch off time.  As a further challenge Rachel has choreographed a little routine for us and we are currently perfecting our 5-minute routine to Torvill and Dean’s Bolero - so watch this space for a video of the performance!  I would never have even tried aerial yoga if I hadn’t gone to a mat yoga class with my daughters and been presented with the hammocks as an option to try.  They wanted to have a go, so I had to have a go too!  That was the push I needed 2 years ago.

 

So, the moral of the story is, you can achieve much more than you think you can.  But you will never know unless you try. 

So do it, think of something you find scary, challenge yourself and you will feel amazing when you CAN do it.

 

As with most things, it's about shifting your mindset to move away from fear to embracing the idea of growing and learning.  If you can focus on the experience of doing the thing, instead of worrying about the outcome, you will start to enjoy yourself more.

 

And how do you do this?

 

  1. Break the activity into smaller more manageable steps – starting small is always best. Don’t try and run a marathon when you decide to take up running for the first time. Build up to it!
  2. Ask a friend to support you – either actually doing the thing or encouraging you along the way.
  3. Remind yourself somehow that it’s ok to not be the best at something, it’s ok to start slow, it’s ok to make mistakes and start with failure. We all know that success does come from failure but that doesn’t change the fact that we feel terrible initially when things go wrong.  But this should drive you to practice and do better next time.
  4. By gradually exposing yourself to challenging new experiences you will start to build confidence in yourself and realise that “I can do it, I just need a push” – a direct quote from me during a recent coaching session where I was the client, not the coach!

And of course, if you need the push from an independent source, then get in touch with a life coach who can guide, support and encourage you through the challenge

 

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